I still remember the last time you were here in this house with me, about last May. We were sitting on the couch, watching TV, when you asked me a question I will never forget.
"Stephanie?" you said. "What do you want to do when you grow up?"
I internally groaned. For some reason, all adults have this idea that teenagers have their whole lives perfectly planned out with a mental picture of their future job and family and everything when, heck, I don't even know what I want for dinner. "Um..." I stuttered, "I don't really know... I mean, I like journalism... and science too, I guess?"
You shook your head. "No, I'm not talking about what job you want to get when you grow up." You leaned back in your chair and sighed. "See, when I graduated high school, we didn't really have a choice. That was during the war, and there wasn't any other option other than joining the army. Not all of us wanted to, but it was a necessary evil, a sacrifice that we had to make for the good of our country. But it's different now. You kids have so many more opportunities, so many more chances to explore the world. So many more chances to go out there and make a difference."
Today, the opinions of the elderly are often pushed to the side. They're too old, people say. Heck, did they even have telephones back then? And with the constant push to make more money, to climb higher and higher up the corporate ladder, to do all these things that make up society's definition of success, maybe listening to older and wiser people would help our new generation of kids and teenagers.
The elderly have a calmer, for lack of a better word, outlook on life. For them, it's not all about crushing people to make your way to the top, not about class ranks and GPAs and whether your SAT score will get you into an Ivy League school or not. Having lived through it all, they understand how ignorant we are to everything we take for granted in our lives. Here we are, in the prime of our life, trying to fit into society's standards and trying to make everyone happy when we should be focused on what makes us happy. Whether it's writing or medicine, dancing or law, you can be successful in anything you want as long as you work hard at it.
Grandpa, out of all the things you taught me, what really stood out was your belief in making a difference, in having the courage to stand out from the rest, in following your dreams.
And as I finish adding your favorite song to the funeral CD, I suddenly realize why I don't feel so sad. Maybe it's not because you're gone. Maybe it's because, in a way, you'll always be here.
And suddenly, I don't feel so alone anymore.